Copyright © 2010 by William R. Mistele. All rights reserved.
Social Conflicts between Mermaid Women and the Men They Love
This essay addresses the issue of “needing” another person. In general, mermaid women do not need another person’s love to feel complete or to fill in for something missing from their lives. They already feel complete. This generates obvious conflicts when they are in a relationship with a man. The essay develops themes I have introduced in my previous essay, Twelve Traits of Undine Women.
I have been interviewing a number of different mermaid women. These are women who have deep water in their auras to the extent that they feel at the core of their being they are a part of nature. With each, there is a concern that men operate in relationships with the sense of “needing” another person and in return expecting the woman to need them. To get a perspective, I take a look at how several undine queens—Isaphil and Istiphul—use love in relationships.
For the undine queen Isaphil, because of her unique mission, there remains a sense of separation—you can love with perfect purity, with the love of the sea, and yet as an undine queen you still feel separate, that something is missing. The “need” in this case is not a personal need. She does not need to be loved in return before she gives her entire being in love and as love. Loving is a way of being and it is for an undine already a complete experience in itself.
But loving with great purity and profound depth of love does not mean she is not aware of every aspect of what is occurring. Isaphil says, “Every lover desires another who can feel what she feels.” Isaphil desires a lover who has the skill and power capable of revealing to the world the divine gifts she has to offer.
A different undine queen, Istiphul, is perhaps the supreme master of love on earth or within nature. She “creates a magical space where two separate souls may embrace as one.” When Istiphul becomes one with another in love, there is no remainder, no separation anywhere to be sensed or felt.
She can accomplish this because she embodies the deep mysteries of the magnetic fluid, namely, the ability to become perfectly one with anyone. As I have already presented in my essay/meditation on her empathy, she is in herself united to the magnetic field embodied in the oceans of the earth. (See The Magnetic Fluid, Part II: Istiphul’s Empathy, under my free, on-line correspondence course. lava.net/~pagios/books.html). This is the nature of her being and her aura. And yet she does not love in an impersonal manner as a distant, all-encompassing sea of love. Her touch does not heal you, nurture you, and fulfill you and yet remain forever unknowable and distant as the seas. She goes much further.
Istiphul customizes her receptivity so that she becomes perfectly one with you. She unites with everything a person is past, present, and future, hope, dream, and desire, the present moment expanding into an entire universe of shared bliss and ecstasy. She amplifies the polar attraction between herself and another so that it is intensified, reaching its height, even as she sustains a profound and nearly cosmic sense of peace and well-being, serenity and sense of completion during the entire process.
To do this, she sets aside anything relating to ego. She “molds” herself to be the perfect complement to the individual she is with. But this is not fake or artificial. It is more after the fashion of asking and answering: What is this person’s perfect soul mate, twin flame, divine lover, friend, companion, and confidante on his path of life? For Istiphul, this is not a burden or a limitation she is placing on herself. She is not role playing in a pageant or assuming a part in a magical ritual or morality play.
What she is doing is an act of creation, for she is a hierophant, a high priestess, in not a human but in a divine celebration. The powers of creation flow through her in the way she loves another and she in return is joined to and an expression of the deep purposes unfolding the universe.
Again, why would an undine or any being seek to be so generous in this way in loving another, to go “out of her way” to this extent? The answer is that Istiphul, in seeking to embody the deepest mysteries of the magnetic fluid on earth, has perhaps transcended the love of even the race of undines. Istiphul has become a channel for the goddess of the Earth. She has begun to embody the deepest purpose that underlies the creation and design of this planet; this planet exists to bring into existence and to nurture the arising of an advanced civilization whose members will attain oneness with the universe—the ability to be one with anything that exists beyond all separation. (The back story or the origins of Istiphul’s gift I have placed at the end of this essay for those who enjoy fairy tales for their insights into magic, love, and wisdom).
Homo sapiens, we ourselves, as well as the next race of souls that shall replace us both are not scheduled to manifest this vision. All the same, the message from akasha is continuously, “There are no limitations placed upon what you may accomplish.”
Though we live our lives under massive limitations, we are all the same surrounded by infinite possibilities and endless treasures of spirit. We only need to make the effort to seek these things out and master them so that we can offer them as gifts that will transform the world. In other words, it is within the capacity of our race and the next race to ascend to this level.
What about the statement: “Every lover seeks another who can feel what she feels?” Istiphul is certainly aware of whether or not her love is being reciprocated. But loving without ego means she herself has no personal needs to be fulfilled or satisfied. Again, the act of loving through which she gives is done as a priestess celebrating the beauty and mystery of the universe.
When you love with all your heart, soul, and being the beauty of creation, the inner ecstasy you experience never falters or weakens. All the same, Istiphul would say this: “The degree to which another responds to the love I give increases geometrically the power and the creativity in our relationship.”
What is the difference between the oneness Istiphul creates between two people and that which the magnetic fluid itself can create? The only difference is that Istiphul’s “sacred space in which two join as one” does have this restriction placed upon it—the partner whom she would love, like Istiphul herself, must be willing to let go of his ego at least briefly to attain this oneness; the reason for this is that the bliss and ecstasy are so great that their intensity and expansiveness annihilate all separation and this includes an individual’s ego identity. (In other words, as Franz Bardon seems to indicate, beware of her beauty because it will destroy you if you are not strong enough to endure it.)
The magnetic fluid, as the substance and method through which divinity reveals love in its highest aspect, has no such limitation—the magnetic fluid in its full power can become one with anything or anyone under any and all circumstances and conditions. There are no restrictions placed upon it.
For this reason, a magician who first identifies himself through deep meditation with this divine aspect of the magnetic fluid can present himself to Istiphul in a way that embodies her own deepest sources of inspiration. But this is no easy feat to accomplish. Remember, Istiphul is seeking to embody in her own being the deepest purposes of this planet.
Among these, Istiphul wishes to be even as the goddess of the earth is in every moment—one with all the waters of the earth, not just as a psychic perception or feeling. The goddess, that is the conscious spiritual awareness that inhabits this planet, is fully conscious and present in every drop of water on earth.
Where does all of this discussion leave us when we return to the question of needing another? The question is, How is a mermaid woman to bond with a man when she does not feel the normal human need to be dependent or want the other to fill in for something that is missing in herself? (Since she feels nothing is missing in herself.)
Sometimes a male will say with anger to a woman who has a mermaid’s aura: “You are too pure! How can anyone love you when you have no needs and you are not dependent on me? There is nothing to bind us together? How can anyone feel love under these circumstances?”
One woman told me, “On occasion, I will pretend that I need my partner for something, for example, I say to him, ‘Can you help me with my finances?’ And then he lights up and gets enthusiastic because finally I am asking for his help and advice. All the same, I am not comfortable doing this even though it makes him feel good. I am not being truthful when I pretend I am, even in a minor way, dependent.”
And then there are men who will intentionally and with great skill seek to injure the mermaid woman and break her spirit so that she is permanently wounded. He says to himself, “If she is seriously injured on an emotional level, she will at that point feel incomplete. Then she will need me.”
And they sometimes succeed at least temporarily to create doubt and pain in the woman. Here is a woman who is giving all of her love to another because to do so is who she is and the way she lives. She feels she is a part of the other person, her love flowing through him in every moment of the day. Again, this takes no effort on her part. She just does it naturally.
But he, sensing that she is not bound to him but remains free, turns upon her out of malice, insecurity, or blind fear, and rejects her suddenly. Or over time, again and again, he does whatever he can to put her down, to demean her, to infuse her with the hate he feels inside for all things that are truly free and that can not be bound by need or will or become a possession.
One mermaid woman said that she left her husband because he acted in that way. And he had injured her as he intended to do. Afterwards, she no longer trusted herself to be in an intimate relationship because the wound her ex-husband had created left her feeling needy. He had taken something from her. He did not take her connection to the peace and beauty of nature, but rather her willingness to flow these feelings through another.
If another person keeps destroying the love you are giving, eventually that other individual’s hatred begins to flow back into you. An empath will automatically feel what another feels. If she does this excessively, she will become physical sick or else sick within her soul. That is what happened in this case.
It would seem that she has to learn to do something new that a mermaid woman never does—stop loving this creep because inside of herself she is still sending him love. All mermaid women do this—they simply do not stop loving other people, even after suffering harm. Or, to put it more precisely, she needs to deepen her connection to nature and to the magnetic fluid to a depth that, like a storm on the surface of the ocean, the depths of the sea still remain undisturbed.
How, then, does someone bond to a mermaid woman? You just flow your aura, your feelings around her, into her, and through her. It may take some time before it is effective but at a certain point she will sense that your needs and her needs are the same. There is no separation.
I mentioned in responding to an email question about relationships: “If you think and imagine you are one with a woman, she will eventually get around to responding to you. But it may be a slow process.”
If you are good at feeling one with a woman, at some point she will look at you and see herself reflected in you. And then whatever barriers exist will vanish. It is not a possessive kind of thing or about being needy. It is about feeling in your heart that you are one with another and that there is no end to it.
But for mermaid women love is still not generated by the actions of two individuals focusing on each other. There are no “special moments” which other couples create in order to define and maintain the feeling that their love is unique, that they have ‘made something real’ between them. For the mermaid woman, love is already everywhere in every moment. It surrounds everyone and seeks to flow through everyone. You only need to open yourself to it.
In fact, a mermaid woman does not stop loving when she is no longer with someone. She feels the exact same love for the individual that she felt when she was in a relationship with him. This is not a “whenever I think of him or recall our time together, I still have warm feelings toward him.” Mermaid women actually have the psychic ability, due to their connections to the water element, to extend their auras continuously in and through another and to flow energy and love to him.
They have to be careful with this ability. At times it may wear them out. You may notice for example that everyone close to a mermaid woman looks bright, effervescent, and charged up with energy while she herself may look worn out. Unknowingly, the people around her may be vampirizing her energy the way human beings are used to doing collectively—without knowing it, they take more than they give.
So how would a mermaid woman deal with her own concern that she may end up living her entire life missing out on relationships with a really good man if every man she is with becomes frustrated that she is not “bonded” to him? To complicate this, mermaid women, as those who have a high sense of inner peace or well-being, feel attracted to many different individuals.
I have already described an exercise for dealing with this issue under the topic of magical empathy. A woman (or man) can practice active listening once a week with someone. And then she places her consciousness within his body. She empties her mind and imagines she is him until she gets a gut response in her own body of what it is like to be him. And then she reflects on her impressions to interpret and make sense of them.
At this point, she has an inner gut level, instinctual, and deep emotional “bond” with the other person which no one else in the world has. Though this may act on a subliminal or subconscious level, the body language and feeling of connection of both partners instantly changes and becomes more open and intimate.
This connection of oneness is common currency in both the realm of mermaids and the world of human beings. It works for both races because it is the first step toward attaining oneness with another. And it is a genuine gift far more than any diamond ring, toward offering something special to the other person that no one else may ever give.
Does it still need to be reciprocated? The feeling of connection can be established and maintained from one side without the other’s participation. Empathy is not just passive and receptive. It can also enjoin. But when two practice this exercise, it tends to bring about the feelings of bliss and ecstasy that Istiphul is so adept at creating. But again, the limitation is that both partners have to be able and willing to step aside from their individual ego needs and identities to allow the process to unfold.
What I am suggesting is that a mermaid woman can produce in a man a feeling that the two of them are bonded to each other without violating her own inherent nature of simply flowing love to others.
When in the realm of mermaids, it behooves a male magician to keep his mouth shut (his telepathic communication on hold) until a mermaid “feels” his aura is inside of her and a part of her. Similarly, it behooves a mermaid woman to appreciate the fact that she may never meet a man who can reciprocate her level of empathy or who feels what is so obvious to every mermaid who exists—that love is everywhere in every moment.
I have heard different mermaid women say, “I realize a man can not love me as I love him. But I justify being with him because of what I can teach him about love and because I can heal him of his wounds. All the same, when I accomplish this with a particular man, I feel like I should move on. My work with that individual is done.”
Now to our ears that might seem very odd for a mermaid woman to say. But I will tell you this. From my perspective, the fairy tales about mermaids are mostly disinformation. The writers are making up stories and inventing mermaid personalities based on their own experience with woman. And so almost nothing they write is insightful or informative.
But they do have one thing right about the sea people. If a selkie is tricked into marrying a man, she will be his wife, love him, and truly and deeply love the children that they produce. But even so, if she is ever given an opportunity to return to her own form in the sea, she will leave in that very moment.
This she is able to do because for her love is not possessive. It is not furthered by controlling someone else’s life. And she never forgets, no matter how socially adept she may become in interacting with human beings, that her true identity is non-human:
In her very being and in her heart of hearts she knows she is a member of another realm whose essence is bliss and a love that flows without ever being lost and that gives all of itself in every moment. By contrast, she can only consider her experiences among human beings to be like visiting a strange land where the race is only half awake to the beauty that surrounds them.
The Back Story: How Istiphul Acquired Her Empathy
Istiphul did not always possess the empathy she now has. She acquired it. Once long ago she was an undine who had a feeling for the depths of the seas and for the magnetic fluid which is the energy underlying them. Precisely when this was is a little hard to determine since on the astral plane there is no space and time as we understand these things here in the physical world. But, for the sake of perspective and to clarify the relationship between our world and the Other Side, my sources tell me this happened about three hundred and fifty million years ago. In other words, this undine queen has been around for a long time.
It happened like this: one day the goddess of the earth appeared to Istiphul. And as is the nature of the undine realm and as occurs between any two undines who draw close, the energy of the aura of the goddess began to flow through Istiphul so that there was no separation any longer between them—what the goddess was feeling in her innermost being Istiphul was feeling as well.
And then the goddess disappeared. But Istiphul knew what she had felt. Yet there was no way of describing such a thing. Evolution in our world and within the world of mermaids had not yet invented the ideas, purposes, or feelings that can attune themselves with an ecstasy that is so great it is one without separation with anything that exists.
And that is pretty much how things would have remained—an experience not without meaning but without definition or the ability to express itself through any action, thought, or intention. But you see our planet is not like so many other planets in this galaxy. Even at that time there was a divine council of great spiritual beings (who have absolutely nothing to do with anything like a Great White Brotherhood or group of ascended masters). This council was beyond the knowledge of the masters who would later appear one earth.
And this council’s commission was to watch over the unfolding evolution of earth on every level and in every aspect. They were simply enjoined to obey a higher command: See that the evolution of the earth unfolds in accordance with the laws of nature but also in compliance with the mysterious purposes of the greater universe.
What these “greater purposes” were the council members were not exactly sure. You see, interpretation, discretion, and creativity operate in all realms. However, almost immediately, the council members noticed that the goddess (the primordial spiritual consciousness that underlies this planet) had appeared to an undine named Istiphul. And the conversation between them went like this:
“Look! The goddess has imprinted her own aura upon this mermaid. Though a spirit of water, the mermaid’s astral body now vibrates with the astral body of the entire planet in its mystery and in its beauty.”
“But she remains a mermaid. There is no capacity in her consciousness to reflect upon or give expression to this beauty that is now within her.”
“Do we have any other creatures on the three lower planes who have had a similar visitation from the goddess?”
“There is nothing. Not one.”
“What are we to do? The harmony of the planet has been disturbed. New directions for evolution must be considered.”
“But these paths are as yet beyond the power of our vision or imagination.”
“Let us therefore give this mermaid whatever skills she needs so that one day a race might appear on earth that will have the opportunity to learn from her about her beauty and ecstasy and in so doing create a new destiny.”
“I shall give her an understanding of the magnetic fluid so that she might master it and come to embody it beyond all other beings.”
“I shall give her the desire to love so that the celebration of the beauty of the universe might be expressed through her love.”
“And I shall breathe into her etheric body the vibration of all the waters of the earth so that in the fullness of time she might accomplish her purpose: of being one with all water on earth in full consciousness and ecstasy even as the goddess is now one with all things.”
“In this way, the foundation shall be laid to fulfill the intentions of the goddess who herself embodies the greater purposes of the universe: one day a member of some future race shall appear on earth and reciprocate Istiphul’s love by simply doing what every true lover does: “to feel what the lover feels.”
I have written this essay and back story in order to discuss the idea of “needing” another, about loving and yet remaining free, and about loving another and yet being united to a sea of love in the same moment.
The mermaid women, in a real sense, embarrass me. You see, I am one of the needy ones who are not yet free; nor do I feel complete. Oh, beyond all doubt, I can spend four hours at a time meditating with an undine queen such as Istiphul. I can briefly, during meditation, unite myself to Istiphul’s inner source of inspiration: the power to manifest absolute oneness with any being under any circumstances or conditions.
But outside of my meditation, I am still an ordinary kind of guy. Which is to say that I have a great deal to learn as I interview and come to know these mermaid women for whom love is an endless sea that is continuously overflowing into every moment of time.
Obviously, in writing this essay, I show that I can go back and forth between an undine’s perspective on the world, on mermaid’s women’s experience, and your typical male’s experience.
It is my intention soon to transcribe some of the video taped interviews I have with some of these mermaid women in order to illuminate these topics in greater depth.