Top Ten Reasons Franz Bardon Students Do Not Totally and Completely Master Chapter Three in Initiation into Hermetics


      10. My girlfriend (or wife) (and/or my mistress) either do not care about my studying hermetics or else they pretend to go along with it just to be polite. What am I to do? I can’t study magic without a lover who shares... what is in my heart.

      (too bad)


      9. I practiced Bardon for two weeks and I still could not levitate, astral travel, evoke a spirit, or light a candle with my mind. This system sucks.

      (Light a candle with your mind? That specific accomplishment would give you absolute power over all nations on earth. Any president or dictator would serve only with your permission. The angels rejoice that you found the training boring.)


      8. I can not reconcile the solitude of practicing magic (“keeping silence”) with my normal, human need for social interaction. Bardon offered no support group, no seminars, no retreats, no emergency phone help lines, no community, no worship services, etc.

      (If you feel you need that, create it. And stop whining.)


      7. I need rank, man. I need to feel important. Give me some degrees like the 32 degrees in the Masons or at least some really neat colored robes, even a secret hand shake would help. Maybe a Bardon sigil I would pin on my shirt so others would know that I am one of them?

      (There are no excuses for failure, no exemptions allowed. The system belongs to Saturn--for Saturn, there are no advanced souls. We are all exactly equal. The goal is consciousness without attachment to mental substance--ideas, beliefs, philosophies, etc; Astral energy--emotional attachments, or social identity--your role in society.

      Only kindness exists for Saturn because it annihilates all other attachment. Get with the program, dump that ego, and learn to be kind to just about everyone you meet. Idiot.)


      6. I worked through the entire book. It was a snap. Hundreds of us have. You follow the directions (as with Campbell’s soup), you get the results. Now you want what? Deepen the exercises in chapter three? That’s crap.

      ("Mastering" chapter three is not "totally and absolutely mastering" chapter three)


      5. The exercises tend to over stimulate the third eye. This leads to mental tension, headaches, fatigue, disorientation, alienation from others, etc.

      (1. Be more aware of your natural body energy. See my body awareness exercise. 2. Imagine and become a vast space of emptiness = top of head/crown chakra versus third eye concentration exercises. 3. Work with cold water sensations to balance the overemphasis on fire in the exercises--learn to flow in every moment (astral water) rather than be in control (mental fire). Duh--to know, to will, to dare, to keep silence, and to do what it takes to make it work).


      4. Demons from past life, my own, or my family karma (e.g., Nazi parents) interfere with my practice.

      (A sense of wonder and awe about the beauty of life preempt all karma of every conceivable kind. Make the exercises playful and full of delight. The darkness will flee from you because you now possess the supreme ultimate weapon, Pashupata, which Shiva gave to the warrior Arjuna. Its true name is joy.)


      3. I did the vitality body breathing exercises. I got it man. I am cool, I mean, radiant with light and life force whenever I want. Isn’t that neat?

      (Chapter three appendix: “After repeated exercises you will be able to emit your vital power for miles.” Oh, you got that too? Let me be the first then to congratulate you. You have just attained physical immortality! Your aura literally shines like and embodies the spirits of the sun.)


      2. I got the five minute no thoughts entering my mind thing. Now you want what? Thirty minutes no disturbances when meditating? No way, dude.

      (You got five minutes no thoughts? Let me be the first to congratulate you--you have just surpassed almost every Zen master on earth. Now then, a half hour of no thoughts will allow you at will to contact with ease any spirit in the solar system. Just focus on a spirit and you have a direct, undeniable link. Ask a question. With your silent, empty mind its response will appear with perfect clarity.)


      1. I got the magical equilibrium early on. Big deal. You saying I have to work more?

      (It is impossible to attain magical equilibrium as Bardon lays it out. Human beings do not know what the water element is. A balanced and healthy social personality is not the same as one’s magical identity. In Bardon’s third book, he goes into great detail about how to master the four elements in the astral body. You will need full consciousness of the intricate psychology and magical properties of each element in order to totally and completely master chapter three. Oh, you did that already? Congratulations, you now know more about psychology than all psychologists on earth.)